


Always and Forever Thereafter

by Totallytwistedwords



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 20:57:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11471544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Totallytwistedwords/pseuds/Totallytwistedwords
Summary: Takes place during episodes 8 and 9 of Arrow season 2.Barry Allen and Oliver Queen met in their dreams long before they ever met in person. As soulmates, they had the ability to share dreams while they were both sleeping, and they grew up together that way. Until one day, when Oliver closed the bond, without word, or notification, unknowingly leaving Barry to suffer without his other half.Now, the boys are grown, and meeting for the first time. They don't know how completely they belong to one another anymore. After all, how much do you remember of your childhood dreams?





	Always and Forever Thereafter

**Author's Note:**

> Not actually written for Olivarry Week, but I was inspired to finish it because of it. This has been sitting in my drafts since February, so I hope you enjoy!

Oliver Queen was not a man to be trifled with. To most of the population of Starling City, he was one of the richest men, and therefore one of the most influential, in their world. To a select few, he was one of the most ruthless, efficient killers the town had ever seen, as he kept the streets clean of scum and evil at night. Either way, he wasn’t someone you wanted to cross, and he knew it. So when someone went out of their way to tug on his tail? The hackles on the back of his neck went up, and his guard rose, higher and higher until the danger was dealt with.  
Which, honestly, is why it was so odd when his guard dropped the moment the stranger spoke from somewhere behind him. The man was young, with beautiful pale skin and lanky limbs that seemed to go on forever. He also, strangely, was soaking wet, and seemed to think he knew what was going on.  
“Actually, it was only one guy.” Feeling the way something inside of him- almost everything, really- screamed at him to trust the man before him, Oliver promptly, rationally, did the exact opposite. “Sorry I’m late- but, actually, my train was late, well, the second one, the first one, I, I did miss, but that was my cab driver’s fault, I’ve got this great traffic app,” Oliver fought the spinning he felt in his head, both at the speed in which words were spewing from the stranger’s mouth, and the absolutely insane desire to trust every strange word the strange man said. In doing so, he missed how the younger man’s eyes kept darting to him, almost seeming to ask a question he didn’t necessarily want answered.  
“Great. Now who the hell are you?” Detective Lance didn’t mean the words to be rude, Oliver knew. But he was still offended on the young man’s behalf. Still-  
“And do your parents know that you’re here?” He quickly smothered the pain in his chest at the slight look of hurt on the man’s face.  
“I’m… Barry Allen? From the Central City Police Department?” The stranger- Barry- fumbled for his ID, eyes locked firmly, confusedly, on Oliver himself. “I’m with the Crime Scene Investigation Unit. We’re investigating a case with similar unexplained elements in Central City,” Barry seemed to very sure of what he was saying, staring Oliver directly in the face as he spoke. The tiny, quiet voice inside of Oliver that told him not to trust the beautiful stranger grew a little louder as the man smiled, nodding slightly, as though to encourage him to believe his words. With the added strength of the little voice in his head, Oliver was finally able to focus again, raising the walls around himself as high as they could go, just in time to hear him say “I’m guessing you don’t know how hard it is to break someone’s neck.” Mechanically, Oliver recognized that Barry- the stranger, the strange man who barged in to a crime scene- was attempting to create a rapport with him, and knew, without thought, that he had to try and play along. Unfortunately, for such a well versed liar, sometimes, like when he was faced with lovely strangers, all his ability to deceive completely abandoned him.  
“Huh? Oh, uh, no. No idea.” Silently, as the man, the completely untrustworthy trustworthy man, began speaking in technical terms Oliver didn’t know, a list of strange things that didn’t quite add up began to form in Oliver’s brain.  
Number one, why was the kid- the man, the man, the stranger- so young? Number two, why was he all wet? Three, how did he know, exactly, down to the model, what was taken from the facility? To Oliver, that was the strangest thing. How could he have possibly known? Four, was he flirting with Felicity? That shouldn’t have been on the list, but Oliver didn’t trust it, didn’t trust that the beautiful man would want to flirt with his beautiful friend. Five, was Felicity flirting with Barry? Why would she do that? He wasn’t hers to flirt with. Six, was he? Did he belong to Felicity in the most bare, intimate way, a way he had denied years ago, when he locked his own soulmate out of his head?

When he saw Barry-the stranger, keep it together, Oliver- entering his office, Oliver’s walls immediately tried to melt all over again. Though sheer force of will he kept them standing tall, though perhaps not as strong as he would have liked.  
”Can we help you with something, Detective?”  
“Oh, CSIs aren’t actually detectives,” Oliver knew that. But he wanted to see how the kid would react, wanted to maybe see if he could be flattered. “We don’t even carry guns. Just some plastic baggies.” No, that wasn’t cute. Nothing this stranger, this interloper, could do would be cute. Or funny, despite what Felicity seemed to think. Oliver’s carefully blank face, still the sole object of the man’s attention, snapped Barry back into focus. “Where should I set up my equipment?” What. What.  
“What’s going on?” Good job, Oliver. Solid.  
“Oh, your assistant explained that you wanted to keep the investigation in-house, so,” add that to the list of strange things.  
Number seven, why would someone operating with the police agree to keep an investigation ‘in-house’?  
“I cleared it with my captain,”  
Number eight, he’s nodding again. Oliver had learned that trick. Nodding as you speak makes someone more likely to believe what you’re saying or agree with you. The list was getting long, and Oliver was beginning to feel like he was losing control of the situation. He guided Felicity a few steps away by the elbow.  
“What are you doing?”  
“We need to catch this intruder. And he seems to know more about it than any of us. Forensic science isn’t exactly my forte. So.” Felicity had a point. If the scientist did have something to do with the break in, then maybe it was better to keep him close, see if he gave anything away. “I think we need him. Don’t you?”

Barry Allen had never been intimidating. He was skinny and nerdy. The only thing remarkable about him was that he was smart. He knew something was up the moment he saw Oliver Queen for the first time. Something about him seemed to familiar, and he just seemed like he could be trusted. He seemed like he would understand about the man in yellow, about all the crazy things Barry had seen, that he believed existed in the world around them. Barry almost wanted to blurt out his life story the moment he met him- thankfully, he didn’t, instead launching directly into the spiel he had practised on the train ride to Starling. And while waiting for the train to Starling. And in the cab ride of the way to the train station. He needed to nail it. He needed to leave no room for doubt.  
Despite that, he seemed to have left a good amount of room for doubt.  
But, they were letting him stay, were letting him work the case with them, even if Oliver, surely the most beautiful man he had ever seen, didn’t seem too excited about it. He didn’t need the man to be excited. He just need him. No, he just needed him to let him figure out the case. That’s all.  
Working with Felicity was nice- she was beautiful, and smart, and seemed like she was in to him, but that couldn’t be true. He knew he wasn’t her soulmate. His soulmate had been a man, he knew for certain. He didn’t remember much other than that. After all, his soulmate had locked him out of his head years ago, and they had only met in dreams before. And dreams fade quickly.

He had seen the person across the way for years, but it was like there was a thick fog in between them. He could see the kid moving around as a shadow, sometimes running, sometimes he flew. Typical dream things. When Barry called out to him, he never responded, but that was okay. He knew they’d meet someday. Whoever was over there would love Barry, forever, through everything, just like his parents did.  
Slowly, as the years passed, the fog between Barry and the other boy lessened. Sometimes, he could see the other boy looking at him, and once, when Barry waved, suddenly shy, the boy waved back before the fog obscured him from view. The night the fog disappeared was the first time Barry met his soulmate, in the Bond created as their souls stretched to meet.. The first night he stepped from his own head, his own dreams, into a world that belonged half to him, and half to a stranger. He took a step, and immediately arrived at the other side of the Bond, despite the space seeming limitless. Barry tried to quell his disappointment. The wider the Bond stretched, the tighter better the bond between soulmates would be. If his and his mates’ was only a step wide, then it wasn’t very strong. But when Barry glanced back towards his own dreams, swirling behind him, they seemed an eternity away. Shrugging and promising to himself he would figure it out later, Barry took another hesitant step forward and entered the mind of his soulmate, who he would eventually come to know as Oliver Queen.  
At first, the suddenly different landscape confused Barry. Before, he had been in a featureless, white void, and now he was in a large yard. There was a huge house in the distance, and there, directly in front of him, was the boy. Grinning, Barry pulled the older boy into a tight hug, one that was quickly returned.  
“I’m Barry.” he murmured, laying his head against the boy’s chest.  
“I’m Oliver.” the other boy replied, arms tightening around his shoulders.  
Though they both knew about soulmate lore, it didn’t occur to either of them that Barry should not have been able to enter Oliver’s dream. After all, they were asleep, and when you’re dreaming, you’re not thinking about rules and logic of the real world. When you’re asleep, everything makes sense.  
The next morning, Barry didn’t remember much of his dream from the night before. All he remembered was that-finally- he had met his soulmate.

Admittedly, Barry’s obsession with the Vigilante was weird. But so was his obsession with a lot of other things, though maybe that didn’t make it any better. But he knew Felicity would have information he didn’t, information about the Vigilante.  
“So, you’ve seen him, right?” Barry couldn’t keep the hope, the curiosity out of his voice. “The Vigilante? I read that he saved you. What was he like?”  
“Green.” Barry didn’t notice how short, how clipped the blonde’s answer was- his mind was already racing far ahead, in two or three different directions, only one of which he bothered to vocalise. The other thought trains mainly centered around how, even not knowing who the Vigilante was, he had always trusted the man knew what he was doing, and loved him a little for sacrificing himself for others the way he must have, for catching the people who got away with murder. He told Felicity the version of the truth he believed, the one he wanted everyone to believe- that the police never captured his mother’s murderer. It was nice to not see pity in her eyes.

Oliver wanted to ignore that the scientist was still around- but Felicity wouldn’t let him.  
“We found something.” Oliver was beginning to get scared, something that didn’t happen very often. First thing missing, the centrifuge. Second, blood. This was leading nowhere good. And right there, in the middle of it, was one Barry Allen. One Barry Allen who got incredibly nervous when questioned.  
Nine. Barry wouldn’t give any sort of details about his ‘similar case’ in Central. Ten, Diggle also seemed suspicious. Ten was more than enough reasons to set Diggle on the case of the CSI.  
“So maybe something is up with the kid.His intentions still seem pretty clear to me. Maybe they’re soulmates, Oliver.” Oliver glanced at the Felicity and Barry, working at the computer together. Their shoulders were brushing, smiles on their faces, and Oliver felt the bottom drop out of his stomach.  
“Just… do it, please.”  
“Oliver, when are you doing to tell me exactly what it is we’re up against?” Oliver didn’t answer, casting a last look over at the pair by the computers before leaving the room.

As soon as Felicity went to talk to Barry about the hard-won arrow, Oliver turned to Diggle.  
“What did you find out about our Mr. Allen?” Oliver knew what the answer would be before Diggle said anything. But that didn’t mean his heart didn’t inexplicably crack when he heard it.  
“He’s not who he says he is.”

Oliver was hurting when he marched into the Queen Consolidated office. He was hurting, and he didn’t know why. All he knew was that Barry Allen was the source of it, and Barry Allen had lied to him.  
“You know about misleading, don’t you?”  
“What are you talking about?” Felicity seemed amused. She hadn’t caught on to his mood yet.  
“He’s not a full CSI, he’s an assistant… whose bosses don’t know you’re in Starling.” He turned his attention to Barry, whose face was rapidly falling. “And there is no similar case in Central City, so tell me, Barry.” He has to swallow down inexplicable tears before he could continue. “What are you really doing here?” Barry finally broke eye contact, staring past his shoulder, face shamed. He took a deep breath and turned back to Oliver, his own eyes shiny.  
“My mom was murdered-”  
“By your father.” Oliver couldn’t help but interrupt.  
“He didn’t do it!”  
“You told me the police didn’t find the man who killed her.” Felicity interjected, hurt lacing her own tone. Barry sighed and glanced at her, but directed his words to Oliver.  
“The police think they did. My dad has been serving a life sentence.” he shook his head, suddenly seeming exhausted. “They didn’t believe me.”  
“About what, exactly?” Oliver didn’t want to ask. But his heart was still screaming at him to trust the man before him.  
“One night, when I was eleven, something just came into our house, like a tornado.” Oliver began to feel a sense of deja vu. “A blur. Somewhere inside the blur, I saw a person.” Oliver saw it in his mind’s eye, half forgotten. A screaming man in a blur of yellow and red lightning. “My dad went to fight it. I went to get him, when suddenly…” Barry stopped and closed his eyes, not wanting to see any more of Oliver’s disbelief. “I was twenty blocks away from our house.” He squared his shoulders and looked Oliver in the eyes again, daring him to ridicule. He didn’t see the pain, didn’t see that Oliver was also remembering what it had been like that night. “Nobody believed me.” Barry snorted a laugh that was more derision than humor. “They thought I was trying to cover for my father.” Oliver closed his eyes, seeing the images so clearly, but still foggy, and slow. “But what I saw that night? It was real. As real as the man who ripped down that metal door with his bare hands.” Oliver felt guilt begin to well up in his chest, rising up his throat and threatening to choke him. Barry sighed one last time as his final truth came out. “That’s why I look into cases like this. The ones nobody believes are possible. Maybe… if I can just make sense of one? I might be able to find out who really killed my mother, and free my dad.” Tears still hanging heavy in his eyes, Barry glanced towards Felicity. “I am sorry that I lied to you. To both of you.” He quickly left the building, just as his tears began to fall.  
“He did lie about who he was.” Oliver wasn’t sure who he was talking to. Himself, or Felicity. “But, that was the truth. I…” Oliver wasn’t sure if he would continue his thought. “I dreamed about it.” He glanced at the blonde to see if she caught his meaning. “As a kid.”  
“Oh my God.” Felicity whispered. “He’s your soulmate?”

Usually, Barry was in bed before Oliver was, and was waiting in the Bond for him to fall asleep. Some nights, though, if there was an interesting documentary on the History Channel, Oliver would beat him. He never minded. He liked being in the Bond. He could feel Barry’s presence, whether he was there or not.  
One night, though, Barry didn’t show up at all.  
He didn’t show up the next night, or the next.  
On the fourth night, Barry appeared in his part of the Bond, surrounded by swirling lightning of red and yellow. Sometimes the red would pick him up and carry him, the yellow always close behind, and sometimes the yellow would turn into a man, and chase Barry faster than Barry could run. When Oliver tried to enter Barry’s mind, to let him know he was safe, that it was just a nightmare, he was blocked by an invisible wall. He watched, all night, as Barry’s nightmare kept him prisoner. He watched as a woman he didn’t know died in front of him, over and over and over again, and it tore at his heart.  
On the fifth night, Barry finally appeared in the Bond. He didn’t have to say a word. He just let Oliver hold him in his arms all night, as the lightning swirled around his empty part of the Bond, his mind dreaming even without his consciousness there to witness it.

Oliver didn’t know how to apologize, how to explain, how to tell Barry Allen, the man who was supposed to belong to him, to be his, how to tell him everything. So he didn’t. He let Barry Allen, his soulmate, walk out of his life without any answers.

At least, that’s what he tried to do.

Barry missed the train, because of course he did. What else could so nicely round out the day he had been having? He had gotten inexplicably dizzy not too long before, and was just ready for the night, and his ill-fated trip, to be over. The next train wasn’t due until morning, so Barry settled down to wait.

At least, that’s what he tried to do.

One minute he was sitting at the train station. There was a sharp pain in his neck, then he was waking up somewhere that was most definitely not the train station, and there, right in front of him, was the Vigilante. Who was also Oliver Queen. Who was also laying on a table, unconcious. Also there was Diggle and Felicity, who weren’t on tables, unconscious.  
“I was right about the team.” he muttered as his head swam.  
“Barry!” Felicity called out, lightly slapping at his face. “Please. Please save my friend.” Barry tried to shake off the dizziness, but it just made it worse. He lurched to his feet as the heart monitor Oliver was attached to began to scream. He stumbled to his side.  
“I usually work on dead people.” he slurred.  
“What’s wrong with him? I know I didn’t dose him that bad.” Diggle was anxious- the scientist couldn’t save Oliver like this.  
“I should have realized. They’re soulmates. Dig. Oliver figured it out earlier, and,” there was a hitch in her voice. “And I don’t know why they didn’t know, but he’s feeling some of the effects of what’s happening to Oliver.”  
“That’s fairy tale stuff, Felicity. That’s not how Bonds work.” Dig grunted as he began chest compressions. Barry was muttering to himself about possible diagnosis and stumbling around the table before darting away as quickly as his failing body could. He came back a few moments later with a box of rat poison.  
“I can save him. Just the right amount of this will save him.”  
“Felicity…”  
“What can we do, John? They’re soulmates. They belong to each other. Barry’s word goes here.” Barry shook his head but didn’t speak, simply injecting the poison into Oliver’s veins.  
“We don’t belong to each other, Felicity.” he finally mumbled, placing a hand on her shoulder for support. “He didn’t want me.” Barry’s eyes rolled up in his head and he collapsed to the floor, leaving Diggle to wrestle him back onto the table as Oliver began to stabilize.

The last thing Oliver was fully aware of, he was fighting someone. When feeling someone touching him after that, his first instinct was to jump up and grab the person, to eliminate the threat. But his second instinct was too close behind the first for him to do more than sit up before it took hold. He knew who had been touching him. It was his other half.  
“Barry.” he rasped. “What are you doing here?” Barry took a step back, something in his hands, and didn’t meet Oliver’s eyes.  
“You were injected with a strong blood coagulant. You would have stroked out, but fortunately you had a very effective blood thinner handy. Warfarin. Better known as rat poison.”  
“This is the point in the life-saving you thank the person who saved your life, Oliver.” Felicity spoke up after a few moments of silence, in which Oliver stared dumbly at the scientist. “And he saved your life.”  
“You told him who I am.” Oliver turned his steely gaze to the blonde.  
“Yeah, Oliver. He saved your life. Also, he’s your soulmate. I didn’t think you could hide something like this from your soulmate, but no one is surprised that it was you that managed to do it, Oliver Queen.”  
“Neither of those were your secret to tell, Felicity. I decide who finds out my identity. I decide who finds out about… me. Not you.”  
“We didn’t have time for to get your vote, Oliver. Not with you unconscious and dying.” Oliver didn't know why the words kept spewing from his mouth. The longer he spent around Barry, the more he remembered of him from before the island, before he decided to shut Barry out for good. The more he remembered about what a kind, genuine person he was.  
“What if he leaves here and goes straight to the police?”  
“He’s your soulmate, Oliver! How do you not trust him?”  
“This was not your call to make.”  
“Well, what are you gonna do, put an arrow in him?”  
“I am considering it.” Everyone in the room, Oliver included, flinched at the venom in his tone.  
“You don’t mean that, Oliver. Besides, how is this any different from when your mother shot you, and you came to me for help?”  
“Your mother shot you…?” Oliver shot Barry a look that clearly told him to shut up.  
“Or when you brought Diggle down here when he was poisoned with curare?”  
“The difference is that I did my homework on both of you!” Oliver was shouting, and he didn’t care. “You brought a stranger in on this, and I don’t just… tell people easily.”  
“He’s your soulmate!” Felicity yelled back. “How could he possibly be a stranger? With how strong your Bond has to be with his reaction to you being poisoned, there’s no way you haven’t known each other for years!” At the mention of Barry’s reaction, Oliver’s gaze flicked to Barry for a moment, who was looking more and more crestfallen with every passing second.  
“Felicity,” the scientist murmured. She ignored him, continuing her rant.  
“I don’t know how any man can be as stubborn as you are, Oliver! He saved your life! He didn’t even do it because he’s your soulmate, he did it because he is a good person!”  
“Felicity!” Barry called when she paused for breath. She turned to look at him, a soft cry leaving her lips as she took in how defeated he looked. “It’s okay. He’s right. I am a stranger. And yeah, he’s alive because you got me. But we… we grew apart.” Oliver could tell Barry was trying to temper events to make them both look equally at fault. In his current mood, he wasn’t going to tolerate it.  
“I shut Barry out of my head and stopped visiting our Bond when I was on the island, and I haven’t been back since.” Barry flinched to hear it said aloud. Felicity and Diggle looked shocked.  
“Do… do you know what that does to a person?” Felicity demanded. “Do you? Do you know the torture Barry must have gone through because you’re an ass?”

One night, when Barry was 18 years old, Oliver didn’t show up in the Bond. Barry knew he was asleep. He could see him moving around in his space, running from something, having a nightmare, again. He knew something had been wrong with Ollie for a while, but could never remember to ask, or if he did, forgot by the time he woke up. He made his way to Oliver’s space easily, having long ago figured out the nature of their Bond. But when he went to step into Oliver’s mind, he hit a wall. It wasn’t like the wall when Oliver was having a particularly intense nightmare. Barry could tell this was different. It was there on purpose.  
“Oliver?” he called out, gently tapping on the barrier. A shot of pain shot up his arm, landing solidly at the base of his skull, where it would stay, throbbing, for the next several years. “Ollie? What’s going on? Are you okay?” He gently placed his other hand against the wall and was rewarded with a second shock of torture shooting up his arm and skating through his spine before touching down in his brain. Fear began to take hold of Barry, and the Bond around him began to change. Instead of the homey place he and Oliver had crafted together over the years, a dark, ominous woods began to take shape. Barry knew, without knowing how he knew, that Oliver had rejected him. That his soulmate, the one person who was meant to love him unconditionally, had decided he wasn’t good enough. And in that moment, something deep within Barry shattered, and he woke up, screaming and clutching at his heart.

“Oliver,” Barry’s voice was soft. “I’m not gonna say anything. I never would. And you don’t have to thank me.” he glanced at Felicity, whose mouth was beginning to open in protest. Slowly, she closed it again, crossing her arms across her chest. “But you should thank Felicity, and Mr. Diggle, instead of being kind of a jerk. They’re the ones that really saved you,” Oliver took a few angry steps towards Barry, who, to his surprise, didn’t back away. Instead, he straightened his shoulders and looked confidently into his eyes. “Mr. Queen.” The acid in Barry’s tone didn’t hurt as much as what he was saying, and Oliver realized for the first time that, despite how he had rejected Barry almost 7 years ago, Barry had never done the same, and he was beginning to feel just a hint of what Barry must have gone through. He opened his mouth, words ready to pour forth, when his phone began to buzz. He slowly turned away, unsure of what he had been about to say. He let out a sigh as he read the message on his cell.  
“I have to go home. The man that I fought in the bunker, he has what he needs to mass produce the serum from the island. And we,” he carefully did not glance at Barry as he spoke, making it clear who he thought ‘we’ entailed, “have to stop him.” He shook his head at Diggle, at the disappointed face his friend was making at him, and turned to go. Barry stopped him, reluctantly.  
“He touched your skin when he grabbed your neck. I was able to absorb the residual oils from his skin, which, when added to a gel-based polymer, might be able to recreate his fingerprint.” Facing away from Felicity and Diggle, Barry’s expression was only for Oliver. He raised his eyebrows in challenge, almost daring Oliver to kick him off the case. Oliver closed his eyes and nodded, once, before turning and walking away. Felicity came up behind Barry and placed her hand on his arm.  
“I’m so sorry.” Barry forced a smile and turned to the pair.  
“It’s okay.”

Sometimes, if you focus on something very hard as you fall asleep, you can dream of that thing. For months, Barry tried to remember that he wanted to measure the exact length of his Bond with Ollie, and for months he consistently forgot the moment he fell asleep. Until one night, when he and Oliver were chatting in the Bond, staring up at the sky that had formed above them. It was a curious mixture of night and day, both stars and sun, blue and black, swirling together. Oliver had made a comment about one of the swirls closer to Barry’s mind, an infinity away, and Barry shot to his feet.  
“Ha!” he cried, pointing at Oliver. “I’ve been wanting to remember this for ages!” Oliver smiled easily, well used to his soulmates eccentricities. Barry held out a hand and helped him to his feet.  
“What?”  
“Okay, so, it looks like both of our minds are really far away, right?” Oliver nodded, though the other boy didn’t pause. “But it only takes one step to cross from one side to the other. Even if we’re asleep, even if this doesn’t exist in the same plane as we do, that doesn’t make sense. Our Bond is bigger than we think it is, and I want to know exactly how big.” Oliver nodded again.  
“Okay, sure. How do we do that?” Barry’s eyebrows creased and he took a step forward, suddenly appearing by his own mind. Oliver joined him. “I don’t think that helped.” Barry’s eyes lit up.  
“I think it may have.” Barry began walking, and instead of appearing on the other side of the Bond, he gradually walked towards Oliver’s mind, which seemed to be miles and miles away. Oliver jogged to catch up to him.  
“This is new.” he commented, entwining his fingers with Barry’s. “I don’t think we’ve ever just walked across the Bond before.” The pair walked all night, until Barry could feel his body begin to wake up. He pulled the older boy into a hug.  
“I’ll see you tonight.” Oliver returned to gesture.  
“See you.”

Barry couldn’t help but geek out a little as he examined the Arrow’s base. Ever since he had first heard of the hooded man, he had been intrigued, and now he knew why. The Vigilante was his soulmate, Oliver Queen. His soulmate who it hurt to even look at, who made the pain constantly throbbing in the back of his head excruciating, who didn’t seem to care at all. He suddenly knew why he had been keeping such close tabs on the villains the Vigilante had faced, and knowing was both bruise and balm to him.  
“Barry!” hearing his soulmate call out to him should have soothed the pain zinging through his brain. Instead, it made it worse, and Barry flinched as he turned to face Oliver. “That rat poison you gave me, are there- are you okay?” Barry looked away and nodded.  
“I’m fine, what did you want to know?” Of course Oliver knew Barry was lying. But he had made a decision years ago, and letting himself care about Barry wouldn’t help anything.  
“Are there any side effects?” Barry’s forehead creased and he nodded slowly, considering the question.  
“Uhm… yea, I think… hallucinations, maybe? And excessive sweating.” Barry closed his eyes and sighed.  
“You’re not sweating excessively, are you hallucinating?”  
“You’re hallucinating? What are you seeing?” Felicity spoke up, concerned, placing her hand on Oliver’s bicep.  
“A girl named Shado, that was with me on the island.” Felicity drew her hand away.  
“Shado. Sara. How many women were you marooned with? Are you sure this wasn’t Fantasy Island?” Felicity glanced at Barry with an apology in her eyes, but he smiled softly, forgiveness evident before he turned his attention to Oliver again.  
“You did train in a jungle for forest environment!” he exclaimed. “Hence the green... “ Oliver’s deadpan look stopped his enthusiasm cold. “Here, let me draw some blood.” As Barry led Oliver over to his temporary workstation, his mind cast quickly about for something to talk about while he touched his soulmate for the first time- while both of them were conscious, at least. His eyes fell on the display case housing the Vigilante’s suit. Perfect. “Can I ask you something?” Oliver tensed, worry in his eyes, but Barry pushed forward. “Why no mask?” Oliver held out his arm, every molecule within him screaming that this was not how he wanted first contact to go. He knew that Barry had touched him while he was unconscious, but that didn’t count any more than when they were both asleep, and he knew Barry knew it too. When Barry hesitantly reached for his arm, he pulled away, and the younger man froze. Slowly, gently, Oliver cupped his palm around Barry’s face, his thumb stroking lightly along his cheekbone, eyes soft. Barry leaned slightly into the touch, and the moment seemed to stretch. Finally, it was Barry who reluctantly pulled away. “Not to tell you how to do your vigilante... ing.” Oliver released Barry and again presented his arm, something within him now satisfied. “But.. the greasepaint thing? It’s a poor identity concealer.” Oliver studied the suit as Barry swabbed at his arm, and softened slightly.  
“So find me a mask that conforms perfectly to my face and doesn’t affect my ability to aim while I’m on the run.”  
“You should look into a compressible microfabric.” Barry finished what he was doing and looked up at the man, grinning. “It could be great.” Oliver almost answered with a smile of his own, but Felicity spoke and he turned to her instead, cursing himself for once again letting his guard down.  
“Found Cyrus Gold.”  
“Who’s Cyrus Gold?”  
“The human weapon that nearly left you dead the other night.” It was Diggle who answered, and Oliver had a feeling a heart-to-heart with the other man was headed quickly his way. “The kid did manage to pull his print off your neck.” Oliver glanced at Barry, who was studiously pretending he wasn’t five feet away, in perfect hearing range of everything they said. As soon as Felicity gave him a location, he as headed for the door.  
“I’ve got this.”  
“Oliver.” Diggle, again. “Why don’t you let me get this one? It’s just recon.”  
“Fine. But I’m going as your back-up.” As he started the blood sample he got from Oliver running through some tests and the other men left, Barry turned to Felicity with a smile.  
“Don’t worry. I’ll figure out what’s wrong with Oliver.” Felicity scoffed.  
“You’d be the first.” She hesitated. “Why are you still helping us? I’ve read stories and articles about people who are rejected by their soulmate. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s supposed to be one of the most excruciating things in the world.” She saw Oliver pause as he walked up the stairs with Diggle, hearing her words. Barry, facing away, didn’t. “Doesn’t it hurt more when you’re around him?” Barry nodded.  
“Yeah.” Unthinkingly, Barry brushed the base of his skull with his fingers. “Every time he says something it throbs, almost as much as the first time.” Felicity hesitated, her eyes darting quickly to Oliver, who still stood frozen, one foot on the stairs. Diggle, a few steps higher than him, nodded at her. Oliver needed to know what he had done.  
“When…” Felicity knew what she was doing was rude. She went on anyway. “When it happened, what happened to you?” Barry sighed and leaned his elbow on the table, face in his hand. He looked past Felicity, remembering for a long moment, and the anticipation in the room grew with every passing microsecond.  
“He was having a nightmare. He had been having a lot of nightmares, but didn’t want to talk about it. One night, I tried to get him to come in to the Bond, but there was a barrier. We’d dealt with barriers before. Sometimes one of us would have a nightmare so bad we couldn’t escape, in or out.”  
“Wait, are you saying you could go in to each other’s heads? Not just in the Bond?” Barry nodded. “That’s not possible, Barry.” Barry smiled sadly.  
“I know. But it’s true. We could walk all night and never reach the other end of our Bond, too. It went on forever.” No one in the room missed the fact that Barry spoke on the Bond in the past tense.  
“That’s amazing, Barry.” Felicity smiled gently. “What happened next?”  
“I knocked on the barrier, and it was like lightning shot up my arm and landed right here.” He brushed the back of his head a second time. “I was scared. I knocked again, and it happened again, of course. The Bond started changing. It became the most terrifying place I’ve ever been in my life. That was when I realized what happened. I felt something in me break, and I woke up. My foster dad called an ambulance because I couldn’t stop screaming. They had to sedate me. It didn’t take long for them to figure out what happened, not when there wasn’t anything physically wrong with me, and how I kept screaming every time I woke up.” Barry’s voice faded into silence for a few moments before he forced cheeriness. “It took a long time, but I’m better now.” He smiled. “I went to therapy for a few years, and they kept telling me I needed to reject Oliver, to break the Bond, but I couldn’t do it. Not because I thought he’d ever want me again,” he hastened to add. “I don’t really know why.”  
“I do.” Felicity murmured. “It’s because you’re a good person, and you knew, that even if Oliver had rejected you, you didn’t want to put him through the same pain he forced you through.” Felicity made her way over to Barry and pulled him into a hug, rubbing gentle circles on his back. “I’m sorry he’s such an ass.” By the stairs, Diggle tugged Oliver’s arm to get him moving, and they made their quiet way up the stairs.

The way a Bond was supposed to work was simple. You met your soulmate while you were both asleep, usually before the age of 10. Admittedly, some couples had more trouble with this than others, what with time zones and insomnia both being things. After you met, you were supposed to grow together, to learn each other. And when the time was right, finally decide to meet, finally remember outside of dreams everything you had learned about your other half. Some people met early, some late. That wasn’t important. What was important, one of the most important moments in the Bond, was the first time you touched your soulmate. It was said to be one of the most intimate moments in a person’s life, the moment they truly knew who they were, who they were meant to be. When Oliver cupped Barry’s cheek, he hadn’t been thinking about any of that. All he had been thinking about was that something primal inside of him didn’t want the first time he touched the beautiful man to be so impersonal as a blood test. The moment his hand made contact, as he looked into soft, lovely eyes, he questioned everything he had done since closing the Bond. In Barry’s eyes, he saw himself as something he knew he couldn’t be- a hero. The walls in his heart, already so beaten and broken, fell away completely, for just a moment, and he remembered how much he had loved Barry Allen, once upon a time. But then Barry pulled away, cast his eyes downward, and the moment was lost. He shoved the warmth in his chest away, but some stubbornly clung to his heart, pulsating gently in time with the scientist’s own heartbeat, even as he reminded himself that he didn’t need or deserve someone like Barry in his life, no matter how much he still cared for the scientist, how much he wanted him near him at every moment.

“What are you doing?” Felicity questioned, placing her hand on Barry’s shoulder.  
“Oh, uh, I’m just messing around with something.” He placed a container of green liquid on the heat before he turned to her, smiling.  
“Are you trying to figure out what’s causing Oliver’s hallucinations?” Barry patted a machine awkwardly.  
“The sample’s still being scanned. It shouldn’t be too much longer.” He looked at Felicity thoughtfully. “You’re really worried about him, aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question, and they both knew it. Felicity gave a strained smile.  
“He takes crazy chances. Even when he’s not hallucinating about beautiful island girls…” Barry smiled to himself, looking down and away.  
“Yeah, that seems like him.” he murmured. “I understand why you like him as much as you do, Felicity.” He smiled at Felicity’s dumbfounded look. “It’s okay. I mean, come on. Oliver Queen. He’s a billionaire by day and saves the city by night.”  
“Sounds like you want to date him.” Felicity smacked her hand over her mouth. “I’m so sorry, I say what I’m thinking sometimes, I didn’t mean to say anything, of course you don’t want to date him, he’s been nothing but terrible to you, but also he’s your soulmate-”  
“Felicity, it’s okay. For years, he was my best friend. I know exactly what kind of person he is, and I also know…” Barry hesitated. “I know what it’s like to like someone who doesn’t see you the same way.”  
“I do not like Oliver Queen!” Barry’s smile was gentle.  
“Have you met your soulmate, Felicity?” The girl’s face twisted into a frown.  
“Not yet.”  
“Whoever they are, they’ll understand. You’re not being unfaithful to them.” Felicity peeked at Barry out of the corner of her eye.  
“Who’s the person you like?” Barry flushed and glanced at his watch, reaching across Felicity to turn on a monitor on the desk.  
“...protests continue into the final countdown for tonight’s ignition of the STAR labs controversial particle accelerator.” Felicity smirked at Barry, who smiled back sheepishly. “STAR lab’s founder, Harrison Wells, promises a new era of scientific advancement is at hand.” Barry sighed.  
“I guess I won’t be getting back in time to see it turn on.” He smiled again and turned back to his workstation.

When Oliver’s hand touched Barry’s cheek, it felt to Barry that he was suddenly 100 pounds lighter. The throbbing, aching pain in the back of his head stopped immediately, like it had never been there. He knew, in that moment, that even though he had never expected Oliver to want him again, he had never stopped loving him. He saw himself in Oliver’s brooding eyes, a man who could love someone who would never love themselves, whose love was his greatest strength. He knew why he was chosen to love Oliver unconditionally. He knew why he was Oliver’s other half. Oliver needed someone who would love him no matter how many stupid, destructive things he did, who would see the reasoning not even Oliver himself could see behind his half-assed actions. And Barry had been designed by the universe to be that person- but he pulled away, his head spinning as the pain gradually, almost resentfully, reasserted itself in his skull.

“Any plans for Christmas?” Barry asked the blonde woman, who smirked.  
“Lighting my menorah.” Barry chuckled as Oliver walked into the room.  
“Hey.” The older man greeted the pair.  
“Hi, how are you feeling?” Felicity questioned, turning towards him.  
“Fine,” Oliver’s eyes kept darting over to his shooting range. “It’s a little crowded at my house and I… wanted to come down here to get a little privacy.”  
“Yeah, of course.” Felicity stood up.  
“Come on, Barry. We can watch the countdown at Big Belly Burger.” Barry nodded and stood, pausing as he passed Oliver.  
“Your blood analysis is almost done.” Oliver nodded, a genuine  
“Thank you” passing his lips.  
It was less than ten minutes later when Oliver texted Felicity that he needed her help at the foundry. The pair ordered their food to-go and hurried back, to find Oliver cleaning up shattered glass.  
“What happened?” Felicity demanded. “Did someone break in?”  
“No.”  
“Uh, your blood analysis is ready.” Barry spoke up, leaning to read the results that popped up on the computer. “Good news.”  
“So you know what’s in my system?” Barry hesitated.  
“That’s the thing. Your blood’s clean.” Oliver began to slowly shake his head. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”  
“Then why am I hallucinating?” the archer practically growled. Instinctively, Barry reached out and put his hand on Oliver’s wrist, immediately calming them both.  
“I don’t know.” he admitted after a quiet moment in which Felicity and Diggle exchanged a look. “I mean, whatever your problem is, it’s not pharmacological. It’s psychological.”  
“It’s in my head.” Oliver finished for him, nodding.  
“Oh my God.” Felicity spoke, horror in her voice. “Oliver…”

When Oliver returned from visiting Captain Lance at the hospital, he didn’t say anything. He glared at Felicity when she spoke to him, and stormily began sharpening his arrows, hoping that the loud noise would discourage anyone from talking to him. After a while, once all of his arrows had been sharpened and he started on them again, Barry, who had been chatting with Felicity and Diggle, approached. He didn’t speak, but sat silently in a stool where Oliver could see him, waiting. Oliver tried to ignore him, but something in Barry’s quiet silence was bugging him. The Barry he had known wasn’t big on sitting quietly. He only ever did it when-  
Oliver turned off the machine with a growl.  
“I know what you’re doing, and it won’t work,” he snarled at his soulmate, who raised his eyebrows innocently. “You’re trying to get me to talk to you. Maybe it worked when we were younger, Barry, but come on. Do you really think it’ll work now?” Barry just grinned. “Seriously? You think you can just sit there and I’ll spill my guts out to you?” Barry silently held his hand out, palm up. “Stop it.” Oliver demanded. “It’s not going to work.” The younger man’s smile widened, and he gently squeezed Oliver’s hand, which had made its way into his own without permission from its owner. Oliver sighed and looked at the ground. “I think I’m losing my edge, probably my mind. I saw Slade Wilson. Slade was… my friend, on the island. He and Shado are both dead. Because of me. Lance told me that not every death in this city is my fault, but there are plenty that are. You don’t know everything I’ve done, Barry. I’m not a good person, I’ve done… bad things, to a lot of people.” Oliver tried to pull his hand away, but Barry held fast.  
“Good people do bad things too, Oliver. There’s no one in this world who doesn’t. It seems to me like you’ve been under a lot of stress lately, and you’re probably dealing with some survivor’s guilt too. You’re not losing your mind, I promise. You’re just working through some stuff right now.” Barry’s fingers idly stroked the underside of Oliver’s wrist. “You just need to listen to what your hallucinations have to say. I’m not a psychiatrist, by any means,” he smiled up at Oliver, who couldn’t help but smile back, “but I do know something about trauma.” Felicity’s voice rang suddenly across the room.  
“Guys, I’ve got something.”

Barry was used to an idle concern about the Vigilante’s well-being. He was used to scouring the internet for news of him. What he wasn’t used to was waiting in a basement for him to return, knowing he was in love with him, and had been for years. That was new. And nerve-wracking. Thankfully, he had the final touches of his gift for Oliver to keep him somewhat occupied. Felicity was busy with her computers, and Mr. Diggle had stepped out somewhere. The silence wasn’t unpleasant, but it was filled with tension as both waited for the man they loved to return. When Oliver finally descended down the stairs, Felicity flew into his arms. He wrapped a gentle arm around her waist in return, but his eyes were on Barry, who placed his gift on the table. When Felicity released him, Oliver walked towards Barry, and to the surprise of both Felicity and Barry, pulled him to his feet and into his arms.  
“I’m sorry.” he murmured, pressing their foreheads gently together. “I’m sorry I shut you out.” Deep within Barry’s heart, something began to mend, and the throbbing that was almost like a part of him slowly began to fade. “I was stupid, and selfish, and if you’ll have me, I will be the best soulmate I can be.” Barry smiled and closed his eyes, lacing his fingers behind Oliver’s neck.  
“Thank you.” he whispered, a silent tear working its way down his cheek. A few moments passed in silence before Barry suddenly pulled away. “Oh! I have something for you.” He turned back to his workstation and picked up the mask. “I’ve been working on this, and finished it right before you came down, actually, that was great timing, by the way. It’s a compressed microfiber, like I was telling you about before, it shouldn’t affect your aim at all, and I think I managed to match the color of your outfit-” Oliver cut off Barry’s rambling with a hand over his mouth.  
“Thank you, Barry.”

Oliver drove Barry to the train station. The younger man rambled about the particle accelerator, and the possible scientific advances that could be made. Oliver was happy to listen. When they arrived, Oliver parked and both men got out of the vehicle.  
“For once, you’re a little early.” Oliver teased. Barry laughed.  
“For once.” he agreed. “Thanks for the lift.” Oliver nodded and pulled Barry closer, gently carding his fingers through Barry’s hair.  
“Thank you, for the mask. And… for taking me back.” Barry nodded, and Oliver leaned in, slightly. “Thank you for never shutting me out.”  
“I never would have.” Barry assured him, angling closer. Oliver gently pressed their lips together, just as the train whistle blared as it rolled into the station. Oliver sighed as he pulled away.  
“Get some sleep, Barry. I’ll see you tonight.”  
“Promise?”  
“Promise.”

That night, Oliver took ages to fall asleep. When he finally managed it, he hesitantly stepped into the Bond for the first time in years, and he felt Barry’s presence. Across the way, he could see clouds swirling in Barry’s mind, and lightning flashed, just like in the old nightmare. Oliver took another step and arrived at the edge of Barry’s mind. He reached out, and was disappointed but unsurprised to find a barrier blocking him from Barry. The longer he touched it, though, the more he realized it wasn’t like the barrier of a particularly bad nightmare. Instead of tasting of fear, or desperation, there was nothing. It was like glass separated him from being able to touch Barry’s mind at all. He couldn’t get a sense of what was going on within. Inside, he saw Barry’s silhouette, running faster than his eyes could follow. He crashed into unknown objects, often twisting into grotesque shapes as his body seemed to reform itself.  
“Barry!” Oliver called, desperate. “Barry!”


End file.
